Why Good “Communication” and Creating a Good “First Impression” are so important | #communication #goodcommunication #firstimpression #firstimpressions #business #customerservice #loveatfirstswipe

I have worked in the international relocation industry for 20 years, moving people and shipping their effects around the world. In dealing with many different customers on a daily basis, I can assure you that good Communication is absolutely key. This is not just true in the relocation industry, but is true for any industry you work in and in everything you do in your day-to-day life, including online dating, for example

I also had a book published last year called “Love At First Swipe“, which is a comprehensive guide to online dating. What I found fascinating was the many similarities between the world of online dating and the relocation industry.

With the advances in technology, it has made the world a smaller place, but the internet has also created many more options and opportunities for everyone, whether you are looking for a quote to move house, getting a quote for a tradesman service, searching for a new job, or looking for love online. You can speak to any person, at any time – and from any place, whether it be from the comfort of your own sofa, or from a sunny beach in the Caribbean!

However, more choice can also confuse people and can be overwhelming, so its really important to communicate effectively and get the right message across. This same theory applies whether you are looking for love, or whether you are speaking to a customer.

It is also very important to create a good First Impression. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Not only will you be judged on your appearance, but also on your attitude, the way you talk, your body language and your personality as well.

A first impression is made within the first seven seconds of talking to, or of meeting someone new. When looking for love and you meet someone for the first time, your date will be making a rapid inventory of your build, smell, height, smile, eye contact, handshake, kiss, confidence and how you present yourself. You will also be making your own inventory of them. The same is true when you go for a job interview, or when you meet a customer for the first time.

Often, however, a first impression is made on the phone, so it’s important to come across well, as you are ultimately looking to build up a relationship with that person, whether it be for love, or whether it be for business.

Just as your main photo is the most crucial photo and most important piece of information that you would upload onto an online dating profile, the front page of your company’s website is also crucial, as are the keywords which are put on your website. For an online dating profile, your main photo should say as much about your personality as it does about your face. The same reasoning can be applied to your company’s website. You don’t want people swiping left on your profile, or people not clicking onto your website link.

We now live in a world where people mainly communicate by e-mail, text, WhatsApp and Social Media, rather than by talking to someone on the phone, or by speaking to someone face-to-face. Computers and smartphones have replaced handwritten communication, phone calls and simple verbal communication. Even if people are working in the same office, they often don’t have the confidence, time, or willingness to get up and talk to someone face-to-face.

Socially, people have been done a great disservice with companies stressing technical skills development over interpersonal skills development, under the “ageis” of education.

A recent survey showed that the most effective communication was carried out in person, followed by video call, then by phone call and lastly, by e-mail. This tells us that e-mail is the worst way to influence. With face-to-face meetings or a Skype call, you can pick up on someone’s tone of voice and their body language. By phone, you still get their tone of voice, but it’s interesting to know that even your body language gets communicated by your tone of voice!

Many Customer Service teams are trained to smile when they talk to a customer on the phone. Why? Because when we smile, the shape of our mouth changes and it also changes the tone of our voice too.

Unfortunately, you won’t receive tone of voice or body language by e-mail, although I do appreciate that it’s not always possible to speak to someone face-to-face, by Skype, or on the phone.

The advances in technology have also led to many people becoming too reliant on electronic communication and I feel this has made people more robotic and insular.

Technology will continue to play a bigger role in the future, but certainly in business, there will always be the need for people to provide the “personal touch” to develop excellent working relationships. High-touch, high-profile customers and customers who have high-value goods being shipped (as they do in my industry), will always demand this, so it is vital that companies invest in people in the future as much as they do in technology.

Written by Gareth Fosberry.

Online Dating: What is “Ghosting”? #ghosting #datingterminology #onlinedating

If you’ve searched for love online recently, you will have probably come across the term, “Ghosting”. This term means that you suddenly don’t hear from a person again and quite often, it comes out of the blue. The person you’ve been chatting to disappears forever like a ghost and they’ll cut off communication completely. You can end up driving yourself crazy wondering what you did wrong and questioning why you didn’t hear from them again.

When dating online in the past, I have ghosted myself, but I have also been ghosted too. In the majority of cases, ghosting is not very nice, but there are times when ghosting is necessary and can be justified. After you’ve been on a date, even if you got on well with that person, a common outcome is that you both say goodbye and you never message each other again. This is normally because there is no romantic connection and it’s an easy and straightforward outcome for both people.

Of course, ghosting can occur at any time, whether it’s before you’ve actually met someone face to face, after a first date, or after you’ve been on several dates with someone – or even longer.

Reasons why it can be hurtful to ghost someone:

Getting over a break-up can be really tough, regardless of whether it was a long-term or short-term relationship and anyone who’s been ghosted knows how painful it can be. It leaves no way for the person ghosted (the person being ignored) to make sense of what happened. There will be many unanswered questions: “What did I do wrong?”; “Did he/she ever really care about me?”; “What is wrong with me?”; and even, “Did something happen to him/her?” There are often lasting effects on the ghostee’s self-esteem, particularly if they already suffer from issues around self-confidence. It may be helpful if you can understand the possible reasons for being ghosted, although sometimes, this could actually be more hurtful.

Reasons that lead to people ghosting:

1. Avoidance of confrontation – they might not like the person they’ve just been on a date with so they don’t want to take things further. Worried the other person may have a bad reaction to this, they take the easy option of ghosting so as to avoid any bad reaction and confrontation. This person would rather walk away or change the subject than get into an argument.

2. Fear of emotional intimacy – they might fear the prospect of being in a relationship and fear getting close to someone. They get cold feet and think that ghosting is the best thing to do. They may have been hurt in the past. Fear of intimacy is a long-term problem and is not easily overcome. Usually it requires awareness followed by effort, in order to overcome this fear.

3. Narcissistic personality style – a narcissist is unlikely to be empathic about the emotional pain of the person they are dating. Lack of empathy is a hallmark sign of narcissistic personality and is likely the reason for at least some instances of ghosting.

4. Fear of a violent reaction: the person who suddenly disappears is afraid of an aggressive reaction to a breakup statement. This might not necessarily be classed as ghosting, but rather a self-protective measure. There are times when sudden disappearance is the only safe way out.

When is it OK to “Ghost” someone?

Situations do arise when it’s OK to ghost someone without any explanation whatsoever. There are plenty of situations where ghosting is not only OK, but actually your best option. If you’ve spent any time in the world of online dating, you’ll know that people don’t always behave correctly, so there might be times when you have to cut off communication with certain people instantly.

Ghosting is one technique that works and you might even need to block that person too. Situations where ghosting can be justified could be the following:

1) When someone doesn’t respect your boundaries

2) When someone won’t take “no” for an answer

3) When someone is emotionally manipulative

4) When someone makes you feel uneasy or unsafe

How many people have been ghosted?

The dating app, Plenty of Fish, conducted a survey in which they polled 800 daters from ages 18 to 33. Eighty percent of respondents reported being ghosted. This proves that ghosting has become a common way of behaving when dating online.

How many people have both ghosted and been ghosted?

According to an Elle.com survey of 120 women and 65 men, 25.83 percent of women have “both ghosted and been ghosted” and 33.33 percent of men have “both ghosted and been ghosted.” These statistics also prove that dating behaviour is changing and leads me to believe that people are becoming more impatient and clinical but also more wary as well.

To read more about Ghosting and other modern dating terminology, you can purchase my new book, Love At First Swipe, from Amazon and from all other leading book stockists.