Nowadays, the unwritten rules of dating etiquette are looser than they have ever been before.
Having said that, the majority of people do not sleep with someone on the first date, in the belief that another person should earn the right to be intimate with them before they share the same bed together.
Some people just go with the flow, some people have a 3-date rule and some have 5-date rule. Some people don’t have sex with another person until they’ve both declared their love for one another. Religion can also determine how soon you have sex with someone.
Online dating has many pitfalls and the person you’ve been chatting to for a while may turn out to be a completely different person in real life when you meet them face-to-face!
There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question, but as long as sex is consensual and you both want the same thing, there’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date. If you both want different things, then it’s best to have a discussion together first, but in this particular instance, it’s definitely best not to sleep with the other person on the first date.
Alcohol can also play a big part in any decision you both make, so my advice would be to not drink too much alcohol on a first date, as that can confuse how you think and you might end up doing something that you later regret.
Here are 5 reasons for having sex on a first date and 5 reasons against having sex on the first date:
Reasons FOR having sex on the first date:
1) It’s been so long since the last time you had sex and because you’ve been away from the dating scene for some time, you find the idea of someone coming on to you just too irresistible.
2) The attraction level and chemistry between you both is so strong that you just can’t help yourself. You may have known this person for some time and you may be physically attracted to them if nothing else.
3) Life is short. You want to live on the edge and have as much excitement as you can, while you can. You are not interested in a proper relationship and you are only looking for something casual.
4) You both like each other, so waiting is pointless as you don’t want to waste any time.
5) With the advent of online dating, the dating landscape has changed and you can actually get to know someone really well before meeting them in person for the first time, as opposed to meeting someone in a bar for the first time and not knowing a thing about them.
Reasons AGAINST having sex on the first date:
1) If they’re sleeping with you on the first date, how many other people are they sleeping with?
2) Always practice SAFE SEX! In a heterosexual encounter, the female could become pregnant. Also, either of you could contract an unwanted STI. Wear a condom, take your pills, do whatever you need to do to stay safe. If you’re having sex with someone on the first date, there’s a far greater risk of you contracting an STI.
3) You want to get to know the person better before you decide on becoming so intimate with them. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do, so you don’t want to give them a “freebie” for simply just knowing you. They should have to earn it!
4) You might have sex with someone if you’ve had a few drinks and because you feel it’s the right thing to do if your date wants to do the same. But, your date might feel like they’ve been used if you realise the next day that your feelings aren’t strong enough to want to see them again. Try to have a clear head before sleeping with someone.
5) It’s much better to wait a few dates and get to know someone first. Building up a closer connection with someone before you have sex makes sex so much better when you reach that stage.
Read here about contrasting stories of 14 women who “Get Real About Sex On The First Date”.
