Pen Pals & the Friend Zone #friendzone #onlinedating #datingadvice #datingtips

The main purpose of online dating is exactly that, to date people and ultimately, to find your perfect match. You shouldn’t be on a dating site if you’re just looking for a pen pal.

If your match hasn’t asked you out on a date after an extended period of messaging, then they might not be interested in actually dating. They could be bored and looking for a way to kill some time. You could also make the first move and suggest meeting up in person, but if they find an excuse to not take you up on your offer, it’s not a good sign. I would usually give someone one chance but if they found another excuse, it’s time to move on!

Make sure you don’t fall into the dreaded ‘friend zone’. Keep all conversation light and complimentary and show a keen interest in that person by asking questions regularly.

Avoid getting overtly sexual, or you could end up with an unwarranted naked picture from a psychopath! You may think you know someone from chatting online for a while, but you could be in for a nasty surprise. If someone doesn’t reciprocate and ask you questions as well, they’re clearly not interested in you, but if they are and you’ve built up a nice connection, it’s time to meet up, otherwise you could be dumped in the ‘friend zone’.

Some users are looking for a quick fix, so conversations of a sexual nature are commonplace. Try to avoid “sexting” with someone that you’ve just started chatting with and whom you hardly know. They might not be interested in meeting you at all and you could end up being ghosted or falling into the friend zone.

You won’t have a romantic connection with everyone you date, so the doors to the friend zone are also open to the people who you get on really well with, just not romantically, for whatever reason. You might still want to keep in touch with each other and it’s possible that you become friends instead. I have made friends with some people I’ve dated in the past, where we get on really well, just not romantically.

You could also end up in the friend zone, if things fizzle out with someone that you’ve had relationship with. Entry to the friend zone has to be mutual of course. When a relationship ends acrimoniously, it’s usually the case that couples don’t want to hear from each other again, once they’ve separated.

To find out more and read further tips and advice that I provide about online dating, you can purchase my book, Love At First Swipe, by clicking on the above link. My book is available on Amazon and through all leading book stockists.

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Love At First Swipe – Guide To Online Dating – Promo Video | #loveatfirstswipe #datingadvice #datingtips #onlinedating

My new book, Love At First Swipe, is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating and is aimed at people of all ages, genders, sexual orientations and abilities.

This promo video provides a brief summary of some of the material in my book, such as how to spot a romance scammer (catfish), the Do’s and Dont’s of what to do on a first date, the different dating options available to everyone, plus, I review seven of the most popular dating apps out there.

Love At First Swipe is now available to buy from all leading book stockists and from Amazon.

Is the “swipe culture” on dating apps bad for our mental health? | #loveatfirstswipe #mentalhealth #swipeculture #onlinedating #anxiety

Online Dating & Mental Health

Is the “swipe culture” on dating apps bad for our mental health?

In the fast-paced world we live in today, we face many daily pressures and online dating can be a welcome escape from normality. Dating apps have become a part of everyday life for many of us.

Dating apps have taken the world by storm, with one in four of us now finding love online, but has the trend of swiping right or left to like or reject potential matches, contributed to many people’s unhappiness and low self-esteem?

Many people seek a new relationship because they’ve been single for a while or because they’ve recently come out of a long term relationship. They turn to online dating apps to try and find love online, due to the ease of use and the huge choice that users have when searching for someone new. You can meet someone quickly and can meet someone who meets your specific requirements.

However, more choice is not always a good thing and it can cause confusion and be overwhelming. Online dating has led to folk having less patience and people are quick to move onto the “next best thing”.

Incessant swiping and continuous small-talk can soon fizzle out and can leave people feeling dejected. It can also lead to users developing anxiety, becoming more guarded and can even lead to users becoming more lonely, despite the huge choice of people on dating apps.

I’ve worked with singles who are online dating where their self-esteem has taken a hit. They wonder what is wrong with them, and they’ve developed a ‘guard’ because they’ve been hurt so many times” – Anita Chlipala, a licensed therapist and dating expert.

The swipe culture and the huge choice we have has led to dating becoming more “disposable” where its easy to move onto the next person without giving the first person you speak to a chance. One way to avoid this is to give each girl or guy that you date a fair chance and to also have only one dating app on your phone.

It can be difficult for some users to distinguish between those using online dating as a way of passing time, those using it as an ego-boost, those looking for fun and those who actually are looking for something serious.

Dating apps can lead to body confidence problems too, especially for younger people, because you are continually aware of your competition. It’s easy for many people to fall in love with someone’s photos. This can lead to huge disappointment when you meet someone face-to-face and they’re not exactly what you had in mind – and vice versa.

Trent Petrie, professor of psychology at the University of North Texas and co-author of the research, says: “With a focus on appearance and social comparisons, individuals can become overly sensitised to how they look and appear to others and ultimately begin to believe that they fall short of what is expected of them in terms of appearance and attractiveness.”

“We would expect them to report higher levels of distress, such as sadness and depression, and feel more pressures to be attractive and thin.”

It’s very easy to become addicted, burn yourself out and develop anxiety problems. The key is to go online in moderation, not to have more than one one dating app on your phone, not to build up your hopes too much, plus, to try and give people a fair chance. If you can do all of this, it can lead to you finding happiness.

To learn more about anxiety and to help you understand the condition better, you can read this article by clicking here.

Love at first swipe? How to stay safe and secure when dating online | #onlinedating #romancescam #datingadvice #datingtips

Online Dating can be a fun and illuminating experience – if you know how to avoid its darker side that is. In my new article in Female First, I reveal my top tips on how to catch that dream date, whi

lst staying safe in doing so and therefore avoiding the many scammers, catfish and dangerous people out there

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With the advances in technology over the past 20 years, a quarter of people are now finding love online. This statistic is likely to increase to one-in-three over the next 15 years, due to the growing popularity of online dating.

Online dating has created many more options and opportunities for us to meet new people, but as our lives become increasingly social media-dependent, there is a darker side of online dating that is growing rapidly.

You can read my full article here which includes my “top ten tips” for staying safe and secure when dating online:

My new book, Love at First Swipe (Acorn Publishing), is also out now.

You can also check out this news article and radio interview I did, which can be found on Palamedes PR’s website.

How men can increase their chances of finding love online | #onlinedating #loaded #datingadvice

Online dating expert @garethfosberry has penned an exclusive thought-leader article on how men can increase their chances of finding love online for @loadedonline magazine.

“To the uninitiated, internet dating can be a minefield – you’re as likely to enjoy an explosive encounter as you are to bomb out.

In this loaded exclusive, the author and online dating expert Gareth Fosberry reveals how to really make an impact.”

You can also check out the Tweet from @palamedespr

My new book: Love At First Swipe | #onlinedating #datingadvice #loveatfirstswipe #book #iamwriting #writing #writingcommunity

After two years of hard work and dedication, I am very proud to announce that my new book, Love At First Swipeis now available to buy through all leading stockists, including Amazon.

My book is a comprehensive guide to online dating and is aimed at people of all ages, genders, sexual orientations and abilities, to help them navigate their way through the minefield of online dating.

Most books about online dating are specifically aimed at either men OR women and only look at online dating from a traditional viewpoint. Love At First Swipe (LAFS) also looks at dating options for single parents, people over 50 years old, people who have a disability and teenagers / young adults.

LAFS draws on scientific data and extensive research that I carried out and asks the awkward questions which other books avoid, such as “do you have sex on a first date?”, “when do you delete the dating app from your phone once you’ve met someone online?”, “who pays on the first date?” and “how do you tell someone that you’re not interested?”.

LAFS also delves deeper into the psychology of online dating and looks at other factors which can influence whether you are attracted to someone or not, such as chemistry, compatibility and pheromones.

I hope that people enjoy reading my book as much as I enjoyed writing it. I do feel a great sense of achievement now that I have finished my book.

Love At First Swipe by Gareth Fosberry (Acorn Publishing) is out now on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

It is priced £8.99 in paperback and £3.99 as an ebook.

Number of online dating scammers has tripled in recent times | #romancescam #datingscam #datingadvice

The Federal Trade Commission in the US issued a warning to consumers in July 2018, about an increase in online romance scams, where known cases in the US tripled between 2012 and 2016.

Online romance scams usually start on dating sites, Facebook and in chat rooms with the aim of the scammer to trick people into sending them money in the name of love.

“These imposters create fake profiles to build online relationships, and eventually convince people to send money in the name of love,” said Carol Kando-Pineda. “Some even make wedding plans before disappearing with the money.”

In a separate article in the South China Morning Post, it reported that romance scams in Hong Kong had also tripled in recent times, as African masterminds recruit in Asia.

New statistics released ahead of Valentine’s Day prove that the UK is continuing to lose huge amounts of money to romance fraud as well – with victims conned out of £41 million in 2017 alone. This is according to figures from The City of London Police, whose remit covers online fraud nationwide, working with Get Safe Online and its partners.

Romance fraud is when someone creates a fake identity to enter into a relationship with a victim, with the intent to steal either funds or personal information. In 2017, 3,557 romance frauds were reported to Action Fraud in the UK, averaging 10 reports a day.

This amount equates to £11,500 per victim. Those who fall victim to these frauds are almost twice as likely to be women (63% compared with 37% of men).

The victims are almost twice as likely to be women and in their forties or fifties, say City of London police. Only 13 per cent of the reported frauds impacted those under 30.

However, evidence suggests these numbers do not accurately represent the true scale of the problem due to the “embarrassment” felt by some victims of fraud, which can discourage people from coming forward to report their experience. Furthermore, most dating apps and sites do not reveal how many people actually report romance scams to them directly. But, reporting is crucial in stopping these fraudsters whose impact extends beyond just taking money.

Considering the above, it is difficult to ascertain exactly how many people are subject to online romance fraud, but with the constant advances in technology, the number of scam victims is definitely on the rise. This is why dating apps and sites need to do more to vet their users.

On most dating apps and sites, it is very easy for anyone to create a fake profile and upload fake photos, but identity verification is something we could and should see more of in the future.

You can read my Exclusive News Story on this very important issue here.