Is the “swipe culture” on dating apps bad for our mental health? | #loveatfirstswipe #mentalhealth #swipeculture #onlinedating #anxiety

Online Dating & Mental Health

Is the “swipe culture” on dating apps bad for our mental health?

In the fast-paced world we live in today, we face many daily pressures and online dating can be a welcome escape from normality. Dating apps have become a part of everyday life for many of us.

Dating apps have taken the world by storm, with one in four of us now finding love online, but has the trend of swiping right or left to like or reject potential matches, contributed to many people’s unhappiness and low self-esteem?

Many people seek a new relationship because they’ve been single for a while or because they’ve recently come out of a long term relationship. They turn to online dating apps to try and find love online, due to the ease of use and the huge choice that users have when searching for someone new. You can meet someone quickly and can meet someone who meets your specific requirements.

However, more choice is not always a good thing and it can cause confusion and be overwhelming. Online dating has led to folk having less patience and people are quick to move onto the “next best thing”.

Incessant swiping and continuous small-talk can soon fizzle out and can leave people feeling dejected. It can also lead to users developing anxiety, becoming more guarded and can even lead to users becoming more lonely, despite the huge choice of people on dating apps.

I’ve worked with singles who are online dating where their self-esteem has taken a hit. They wonder what is wrong with them, and they’ve developed a ‘guard’ because they’ve been hurt so many times” – Anita Chlipala, a licensed therapist and dating expert.

The swipe culture and the huge choice we have has led to dating becoming more “disposable” where its easy to move onto the next person without giving the first person you speak to a chance. One way to avoid this is to give each girl or guy that you date a fair chance and to also have only one dating app on your phone.

It can be difficult for some users to distinguish between those using online dating as a way of passing time, those using it as an ego-boost, those looking for fun and those who actually are looking for something serious.

Dating apps can lead to body confidence problems too, especially for younger people, because you are continually aware of your competition. It’s easy for many people to fall in love with someone’s photos. This can lead to huge disappointment when you meet someone face-to-face and they’re not exactly what you had in mind – and vice versa.

Trent Petrie, professor of psychology at the University of North Texas and co-author of the research, says: “With a focus on appearance and social comparisons, individuals can become overly sensitised to how they look and appear to others and ultimately begin to believe that they fall short of what is expected of them in terms of appearance and attractiveness.”

“We would expect them to report higher levels of distress, such as sadness and depression, and feel more pressures to be attractive and thin.”

It’s very easy to become addicted, burn yourself out and develop anxiety problems. The key is to go online in moderation, not to have more than one one dating app on your phone, not to build up your hopes too much, plus, to try and give people a fair chance. If you can do all of this, it can lead to you finding happiness.

To learn more about anxiety and to help you understand the condition better, you can read this article by clicking here.

Advertisements

Love at first swipe? How to stay safe and secure when dating online #onlinedating #romancescammer

Online Dating can be a fun and illuminating experience – if you know how to avoid its darker side that is. In my new article in Female First, I reveal my top tips on how to catch that dream date, wh

ilst staying safe in doing so and therefore avoiding the many scammers, catfish and dangerous people out there

.
With the advances in technology over the past 20 years, a quarter of people are now finding love online. This statistic is likely to increase to one-in-three over the next 15 years, due to the growing popularity of online dating.

Online dating has created many more options and opportunities for us to meet new people, but as our lives become increasingly social media-dependent, there is a darker side of online dating that is growing rapidly.

You can read my full article here which includes my “top ten tips” for staying safe and secure when dating online:

My new book, Love at First Swipe (Acorn Publishing), is also out now.

You can also check out this news article and radio interview I did, which can be found on Palamedes PR’s website.

How men can increase their chances of finding love online | #onlinedating #loaded #datingadvice

Online dating expert @garethfosberry has penned an exclusive thought-leader article on how men can increase their chances of finding love online for @loadedonline magazine.

“To the uninitiated, internet dating can be a minefield – you’re as likely to enjoy an explosive encounter as you are to bomb out.

In this loaded exclusive, the author and online dating expert Gareth Fosberry reveals how to really make an impact.”

You can also check out the Tweet from @palamedespr

My new book: Love At First Swipe | #onlinedating #datingadvice #loveatfirstswipe #book #iamwriting

After two years of hard work and dedication, I am very proud to announce that my new book, Love At First Swipeis now available to buy through all leading stockists, including Amazon. The link to Amazon is: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

My book is a comprehensive guide to online dating and is aimed at people of all ages, genders, sexual orientations and abilities, to help them navigate their way through the minefield of online dating.

Most books about online dating are specifically aimed at either men OR women and only look at online dating from a traditional viewpoint. Love At First Swipe (LAFS) also looks at dating options for single parents, people over 50 years old, people who have a disability and teenagers / young adults. LAFS draws on scientific data and extensive research I have carried out and covers sensitive topics which other books avoid, such as “do you have sex on a first date?”, “when do you delete the dating app from your phone once you have met someone online?”, “who pays?” and “how do you tell someone that you’re not interested?”. LAFS also looks at other factors which can influence whether you are attracted to someone or not, such as chemistry, compatibility and pheromones.

I hope that people enjoy reading my book as much as I enjoyed writing it. I do feel a great sense of achievement now that I have finished my book.

Love at First Swipe by Gareth Fosberry (Acorn Publishing) is out now on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

It is priced £8.99 in paperback and £3.99 as an ebook.

Number of online dating scammers has tripled in recent times | #romancescam #datingscam #datingadvice

The Federal Trade Commission in the US issued a warning to consumers in July 2018, about an increase in online romance scams, where known cases in the US tripled between 2012 and 2016.

Online romance scams usually start on dating sites, Facebook and in chat rooms with the aim of the scammer to trick people into sending them money in the name of love.

“These imposters create fake profiles to build online relationships, and eventually convince people to send money in the name of love,” said Carol Kando-Pineda. “Some even make wedding plans before disappearing with the money.”

In a separate article in the South China Morning Post, it reported that romance scams in Hong Kong had also tripled in recent times, as African masterminds recruit in Asia.

New statistics released ahead of Valentine’s Day prove that the UK is continuing to lose huge amounts of money to romance fraud as well – with victims conned out of £41 million in 2017 alone. This is according to figures from The City of London Police, whose remit covers online fraud nationwide, working with Get Safe Online and its partners.

Romance fraud is when someone creates a fake identity to enter into a relationship with a victim, with the intent to steal either funds or personal information. In 2017, 3,557 romance frauds were reported to Action Fraud in the UK, averaging 10 reports a day.

This amount equates to £11,500 per victim. Those who fall victim to these frauds are almost twice as likely to be women (63% compared with 37% of men).

The victims are almost twice as likely to be women and in their forties or fifties, say City of London police. Only 13 per cent of the reported frauds impacted those under 30.

However, evidence suggests these numbers do not accurately represent the true scale of the problem due to the “embarrassment” felt by some victims of fraud, which can discourage people from coming forward to report their experience. Furthermore, most dating apps and sites do not reveal how many people actually report romance scams to them directly. But, reporting is crucial in stopping these fraudsters whose impact extends beyond just taking money.

Considering the above, it is difficult to ascertain exactly how many people are subject to online romance fraud, but with the constant advances in technology, the number of scam victims is definitely on the rise. This is why dating apps and sites need to do more to vet their users.

On most dating apps and sites, it is very easy for anyone to create a fake profile and upload fake photos, but identity verification is something we could and should see more of in the future.

Please read my Exclusive News Story on this very important issue here.

When Should You Delete the Dating App on Your Phone, Once You’ve Met Someone Online? #datingadvice #datingapp #datingapps

If you have met someone online and things are going really well between you, at which point do you consider yourself to be in a “relationship” and how long do you wait before you stop using a dating app and delete your dating profile? Is it a mutual decision? Do you both delete your dating profiles at the same time? How long should you wait and how many dates should you have before you make this decision?

Once you start seeing someone regularly, most people will agree that you should wait for as long as it takes before you become “mutually exclusive”. It’s a conversation that you need to have with your partner and you then need to make a joint decision. There should be no exact parameters as to how long you wait, as it’s a decision that you and your partner need to make on your own and you should not be restricted to a certain time frame.

You certainly should not delete your dating profile after two or three dates, as that would be far too early. It’s highly likely that you are still chatting to other people at this stage and are yet to make a decision about the person you’ve just met. You may also be having fun at first and not even thinking about a relationship, but as soon as you both develop feelings and you’ve had a number of dates, it’s then that you should consider becoming mutually exclusive.

You might delete your dating profile because you are happy and don’t want to date anyone else, yet your partner is still dating other people, either because they are looking for something different to you or because you have not yet had that conversation which defines your relationship and allows you to express how you feel about you both keeping a dating app on your phone.

Dating apps can easily be downloaded again, but to take an app off your phone is a sign of commitment to your partner – you are letting go of your online presence. It also means that you are giving that person a fair chance and tells them that you are serious in wanting to take things further.

Has the stigma of online dating disappeared yet? #loveatfirstswipe #onlinedating #datingadvice

It’s highly likely that you have met someone online. Many of you will be dating someone now that you met online, or even married to someone you met online. Most people I know have dabbled with online dating and it’s now becoming ”the norm”.

With the busy lifestyles we all lead, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to meet someone when we’re “out and about”.

If you met your partner online and someone asks you, “how did you meet?”, do you make up a story, or do you tell them the truth?

Most people tell the truth nowadays, but if you go back 15 years, that definitely was not the case. There was a stigma attached to online dating. It would have been seen as embarrassing and sad to admit that you met someone online.

The fact is that one in four of us now find love online and in the US, one in five married couples met each other online. In the future, these figures will only increase.

The most popular way for us to meet new people nowadays is online and the stigma and negative attitude towards online dating has almost disappeared, but not completely.

More choice can cause confusion and can be overwhelming. Online dating can be very “disposable”. You have to be careful, get to know someone a little first, stay safe and take precautions as well. At the end of the day, you are meeting a complete stranger, but the rewards can be great.

My new book, “Love At First Swipe”, is available to buy now and is available as an E-book (incl. Amazon) and also as a Paperback too. It will help you navigate your way through the minefield of online dating and to avoid the common pitfalls. My book draws on my own thoughts and experiences, as well as extensive research which I carried out.

My book is aimed at people of all ages and genders, no matter what your relationship preference or sexual orientation. It also looks at dating options for single parents and for people who have a disability.

I feel a great sense of achievement, now that I’ve finished my book, but the main purpose of writing it was to try and help people. I hope I have done this and I hope you enjoy reading it.