Should you have sex on the first date? | #onlinedating #datingadvice #datingtips #loveatfirstswipe #datingetiquette #firstdatesex #sex

Nowadays, the unwritten rules of dating etiquette are looser than they have ever been before.

Having said that, the majority of people do not sleep with someone on the first date, in the belief that another person should earn the right to be intimate with them before they share the same bed together.

Some people just go with the flow, some people have a 3-date rule and some have 5-date rule. Some people don’t have sex with another person until they’ve both declared their love for one another. Religion can also determine how soon you have sex with someone.

Online dating has many pitfalls and the person you’ve been chatting to for a while may turn out to be a completely different person in real life when you meet them face-to-face!

There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question, but as long as sex is consensual and you both want the same thing, there’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date. If you both want different things, then it’s best to have a discussion together first, but in this particular instance, it’s definitely best not to sleep with the other person on the first date.

Alcohol can also play a big part in any decision you both make, so my advice would be to not drink too much alcohol on a first date, as that can confuse how you think and you might end up doing something that you later regret.

Here are 5 reasons for having sex on a first date and 5 reasons against having sex on the first date:

Reasons FOR having sex on the first date:

1) It’s been so long since the last time you had sex and because you’ve been away from the dating scene for some time, you find the idea of someone coming on to you just too irresistible.

2) The attraction level and chemistry between you both is so strong that you just can’t help yourself. You may have known this person for some time and you may be physically attracted to them if nothing else.

3) Life is short. You want to live on the edge and have as much excitement as you can, while you can. You are not interested in a proper relationship and you are only looking for something casual.

4) You both like each other, so waiting is pointless as you don’t want to waste any time.

5) With the advent of online dating, the dating landscape has changed and you can actually get to know someone really well before meeting them in person for the first time, as opposed to meeting someone in a bar for the first time and not knowing a thing about them.

Reasons AGAINST having sex on the first date:

1) If they’re sleeping with you on the first date, how many other people are they sleeping with?

2) Always practice SAFE SEX! In a heterosexual encounter, the female could become pregnant. Also, either of you could contract an unwanted STI. Wear a condom, take your pills, do whatever you need to do to stay safe. If you’re having sex with someone on the first date, there’s a far greater risk of you contracting an STI.

3) You want to get to know the person better before you decide on becoming so intimate with them. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do, so you don’t want to give them a “freebie” for simply just knowing you. They should have to earn it!

4) You might have sex with someone if you’ve had a few drinks and because you feel it’s the right thing to do if your date wants to do the same. But, your date might feel like they’ve been used if you realise the next day that your feelings aren’t strong enough to want to see them again. Try to have a clear head before sleeping with someone.

5) It’s much better to wait a few dates and get to know someone first. Building up a closer connection with someone before you have sex makes sex so much better when you reach that stage.

Read here about contrasting stories of 14 women who “Get Real About Sex On The First Date”.


New Dating Agency for people with Learning Disabilities | #learningdisabilities #datingtips #datingadvice #datingagency #datingagencies #datinganddisability

For many people with learning disabilities, finding love, being in a relationship and meeting new people can prove extremely difficult as they are often faced with barriers and challenges that prevent them from finding what many people take for granted. However, there are now specialised dating agencies out there who can help provide the support needed to meet new people and help those people with learning difficulties find romance, friendship or companionship.

Everyone has a need for affection and intimacy, including people with learning disabilities, yet many people with learning disabilities don’t get to have this type of relationship because of a lack of social and practical support. Added to this, it doesn’t help that many people in society have a negative and stereotypical attitude towards people with a learning disability. Those attitudes appear to be slowly changing, but it’s evident that many people still don’t understand what having a “learning disability” actually means.

One student in the UK says a newly created dating agency for people with learning disabilities gives people like her “hope” that they can find new friends and love.

Safe Soulmate
A new Not-for-profit dating agency called “Safe Soulmate” was established by Christine O’Neil and Vicky Baddeley to tackle loneliness in Cambridgeshire, UK, after receiving a £10,000 National Lottery grant. Around 130 people signed up to its first event in Cambridge recently.

Elizabeth Felton, 25, who attended the event, called it “an amazing opportunity”. She went on to say, “I think it’s brilliant because more things need to happen for people with learning disabilities to give them a chance, to give them hope.”

Ms Felton, from Ely, UK, was born with the rare growth, Beckwith Wiedemann syndrome, and has a moderate learning disability. She said she hoped the occasion would help her find “more friends and relationships”, as well as tackle her depression and anxiety. “I’ll focus all my energy on [the event] and I won’t have time to think about myself,” she said.

Safe Soulmate, which caters exclusively for adults with autism and learning disabilities, is due to run as a pilot for six months after receiving money from the National Lottery Community Fund.

It was set up by Stretham residents Mrs O’Neill, 38, and Mrs Baddeley, 46, who both work with people with learning difficulties. Mrs Baddeley said the response to their idea had been “overwhelming”, with the first Cambridge meet-up being oversubscribed.

“We did a consultation in 2017 and everyone was saying, ‘Hurry up, we need this now’. That was coming from social workers, support workers, and parents who were saying how their children were so lonely,” Mrs Baddeley said.

Luv2meetU is another dating agency that was set up to help people with learning disabilities, as the founders realised it can be difficult to meet new friends and get out and about. It’s a friendship and dating agency for people over 18 years of age and the site supports people in helping them make friends, share interests and develop relationships.

Luv2meetU can help people enjoy a range of activities from bowling and swimming, to meals out and visits to nightclubs. They organise events which their members tell them they want, so there’s always something different to try. As well as all the fantastic events that they run throughout the year, they also offer a one-to-one dating service for their members.

Disability Matches
Disability Matches is another dating agency which caters for people with disabilities, including those with learning disabilities. They have created a dating site for people with disabilities, which enables users to quickly join their community and start communicating with other people near to them who understand just what it’s like to be them.

These dating agencies, along with TV programmes such as “The Undateables” have gone a long way to highlighting issues which people with learning disabilities have and are helping people with learning disabilities when they are trying to find love, or even just looking for friendship and companionship. The Undateables TV show follows a number of people who consider themselves ‘undateable’ due to challenging conditions, as they attempt to find love.

Everyone deserves the chance to find and enjoy love and happiness in life, no matter who you are or what makes you different.

Five tips to help you create a great online dating profile | #datingprofile #onlinedating #datingtips #datingadvice #loveatfirstswipe

I’ve drawn on my own experiences in the world of online dating, to compile a tried and tested set of tips that will help every would-be dater. These five simple tips, are a must for anyone looking for lust or love online:

1) Don’t say cheese – The importance of your main photo:

Your main photo is the most crucial photo that you upload onto your dating profile and it should say as much about your personality as it does about your face. If you get this photo wrong, you could miss out on speaking to many potential suitors.

The majority of people won’t bother looking at your other photos before swiping left or right on your profile, so you should ensure that your main photo is also your BEST photo. Don’t go all David Brent though, as relaxed shots are often far better than professional, cheesy ones.

2) Looking 50 is great if you’re 60 – Uploading the right choice of photos:

Make sure you upload at least three photos and that they’re recent photos, not photos of you from 10 years ago! Also, make sure your photos show you in a good light. You should be smiling or having fun, but not looking miserable! You should include photos of yourself that are flattering.

Uploading colourful, varied and fun profile photos is essential to creating a great online dating profile. Make sure your photos are representative of who you are.

Upload photos of you glammed up, dressed down, resting and letting your hair down. You should project yourself as a multidimensional person and uploading photos such as these to your profile will reflect this.

If you’re looking for love, not lust, avoid posting photos of your abs, muscles or cleavage (and any other part of your naked body for that matter). Users will think that you’re only after something casual. While it’s clear you are very confident about how you look, you will come across as arrogant. Users may think you are superficial and spend more time focusing on your muscles and cleavage rather than developing other parts of your personality.

3) Better slapped by a truth than kissed with a lie – Creating an honest profile:

Creating your profile is the hardest part when registering yourself on a dating site, but it’s also the most important. You need to make an effort and write something about yourself in your profile, even if it’s just a few lines. If you don’t have anything in your profile, people will think you’re lazy and will think you might be hiding something. Make sure you tell the truth and use words that reflect positivity.

Try to elaborate on your likes and interests. Far too many users use the same old clichés – “I’m sociable”; “I love movies”; “I like animals” – which are inevitably ignored. Instead, think of something interesting that you could add, such as why you’re sociable and in what circumstances; what movies you like and why; and what kind of animals you like and whether you have any. You could also list any hobbies you have and any sports or gym activities that you like playing or participating in. People need to imagine how they would fit into your life, so you should give them enough information to make them want to know more about you.

If you lie about something in your profile such as what you look like, your age, or what you do in your spare time, it’s not a great start and you must remember that the truth will always come out in the end. Ultimately, it will end in disappointment for you both.

4) Someone photographed next to a tiger, lion, or fast car – Don’t come across as arrogant:

This person will come across as arrogant and deluded. They think that posting a photo of them up close and personal with a big cat will vastly increase their sex appeal and desirability to other singletons. How can people sense you are a potential lover if you put up a tiger-selfie?? The general idea is that women love travel and danger, so if a man wants to attract a girl, all he has to do is demonstrate this in his profile picture and they feel that by uploading a photo of themselves with a big cat or a flashy car is the best way to do this!

5) Take great caution when posting photos – Think Safety & Security first:

Do not post photos with your home or work-place in the background, nor pictures of your children or anyone else’s children. Check your pictures before you post them. It’s very easy for someone to find out more about you simply from the photos you post online. You do not want a stalker, nor someone who could use any information they have found about you, to blackmail you, or even harm you or those closest to you!

You can read more about how to create a great online dating profile in my article in Loaded online magazine. My article also provides advice on where to meet someone and how to stay safe on a first date, plus, how first impressions really do count and the difference between confidence and arrogance.

My new book, Love at First Swipe, is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating. It offers tried and tested tips and advice about all important aspects of online dating, including personal safety and the ways to maximise your chances of dating success. It also has specific chapters which look into dating options for disabled people, people of 50 years of age and over, teenagaers / young adults and dating options for Single Parents.

Love At First Swipe is available now on Amazon UK:

It is priced £8.99 in paperback and £3.99 as an e-book.

3 ways to feel closer to your partner and overcome problems quicker | #dating #onlinedating #datingadvice #relationship #relationshipadvice

Every relationship will have its ups and downs. When things are good between you and your partner, the world is a much happier place. When things are not so good, you’ll feel sad, so it’s important to know how to handle such a delicate and potentially tricky situation.

We struggle in relationships largely because we haven’t learned the essential skills and techniques which influence relationships and enables them to thrive. We don’t have specific training for relationships when we’re younger, so we’re influenced by those closest to us when growing up and not everyone is surrounded by adults who set a good example.

For some people, it takes longer to hone the skills and techniques needed for a healthy relationship. However, it’s often the other person who actually needs help to improve their relationship skills and techniques.

Life experiences also affect how we feel and how we think about certain situations.

As a sidenote, if you’ve been chatting to someone online and you’ve built up a great virtual relationship with that person, it’s not a guarantee that you’ll like each other when you meet them face-to-face, so you should try to meet them as soon as possible, to avoid any potential heartache, as that person may not quite be the same person you had pictured in your mind.

In general, most relationships can be rescued providing you are both willing to talk, listen, compromise and be understanding. Here are my top 3 tips which will help you improve your relationship:

1) Listen to your partner –

Communication is absolutely key in any relationship – and in anything you do in life in general. You might not agree with everything your partner says, but don’t be rude and don’t interrupt them when they’re talking, even if you want to say something. Hear them out, calmly then convey your points of view and see if you can compromise. Something may be said which you didn’t realise was the case, so there may be a genuine misunderstanding. It’s so much healthier to actually talk to one other.

2) Don’t have an ego –

If you let your ego come between you and your partner, your relationship won’t last long. Playing the blame game or wanting to have the last word is not a good idea. Be understanding. It could be that you fear rejection and perhaps you’ve had bad experiences in the past which may have led to you feeling like this. This feeling can also cause anxiety.

3) Be appreciative –

Don’t take your partner for granted. We can get too comfortable in a relationship, but you have to appreciate all the little things they do for you from time to time. Your partner should also reciprocate this appreciation. Showing your appreciation can encourage thoughtfulness between you and your partner and should promote more positive feelings between you both.

For more tips and advice on Dating and Relationships, my new book, Love At First Swipe, is now available from Amazon and from all other leading book stockists.

Game of Thrones | Fantasy TV Series | #gameofthrones #GOT #winteriscoming

I’ve just watched the last episode of Game of Thrones (GoT) Series 7 – Best show I’ve seen in a long time and I’m hooked! It’s taken me one month to watch every episode, but it’s so been worth it.

GoT has everything.. great storyline, fantasy, drama, sex, mystery, violence, magic, romance, action, comedy, great characters, surprise, suspense and the scenery is breathtaking!

It’s clear that both writer and director have looked at storylines from some of our best loved films and have woven parts of them into the GoT storyline brilliantly!

Similarities at times can be drawn between GoT and classic films such as Gladiator, Lord of the Rings, Robin Hood, Sword in the Stone, King Arthur and The Three Musketeers – but, it works!

I can’t wait for the final series to begin, which airs in April. I, like everyone else, am wondering who will end up sitting on the Iron Throne.

Will Jon Snow and Dani end up together – even though they’re related (unbeknown to them for now)? Will Cersei stay on the Iron Throne – with or without her brother Jaime? Will Sansa end up on the throne? What roles will Bran and Arya have to play, especially now they’ve acquired superhuman powers? Will Sam or Gendry have bigger roles to play and have a say on who sits on the Iron Throne? What’s the future role of Tyrion and can he really be trusted? What becomes of the dragons? Then, the biggest question of all.. will the White Walker King be defeated and by whom?

Every eventuality is possible and I’m sure they’ll be more twists, turns, trysts and deaths to come. You can watch the official trailer here.

One thing is for sure.. we’ll all be on the edge of our seats!

Will you find Valentine’s Day love online? #valentinesday #love #onlinedating #dating

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. The period leading up to this special day of love and romance is one of the busiest periods of the year for online dating networks. Busier online dating networks mean a greater likelihood you will meet a suitable match.

Online Dating has become big business with dating services estimated to be worth around USD 2.5 billion in 2015, which is forecasted to grow to USD 3.2 billion by 2020.

Online Dating has become a normal part of society and the stigma once attached to it has disappeared. As it continues to sweep the world, how can you best use Valentine’s Day – the traditional day in the calendar when love is celebrated worldwide – to improve your online dating success?

Of course, expressions of love can be forced, as Valentine’s Day falls on a specific date every year – the 14th of February. Some people say that capitalism was the impure driving force behind this special day being created and Valentine’s Day has certainly become more commercial in the past few years, with restaurants and stores upping their prices around this period and selling more Valentine’s Day themed merchandise – items such as teddy bears, mugs, balloons and heart-shaped sweets and chocolates – even sex toys!

Single folk flock to the online dating scene as the desire for love becomes a more prominent theme in modern day society. The three films in the Fifty Shades of Grey film trilogy were all released in the cinema around Valentine’s Day, so this played on the commercial nature of this special day. It also helped Valentine’s Day to become even more popular. When the original Fifty Shades of Grey film was released in Australia, one effect it had was a surge in the sales of sex toys– sales increased by more than 30 per cent!

The sequel of the movie franchise, Fifty Shades Darker, saw Britain’s burgeoning sex toy industry abuzz, with Bath-based online retailer Lovehoney seeing its website sales jumping by almost 30%!

I think Valentine’s Day is actually a great chance to express your feelings and show someone how much you love and care for them. With all the hatred in the world today, love is more welcome than ever before.

Valentine’s Day comes with traditional expressions, such as dinner for two, the gift of gift roses, spending quality time together, acts of service, words of affirmation and sending each other cards and loving messages. The underlying sense of meaning for this day comes from connecting with our partner(s) in loving ways.

This special day can also help along budding relationships and can even spark life into and/or rekindle relationships which have gone off track.

Everyone is different and people channel acts of love differently, but above all, you should maintain respect and honesty with your partner or lover, something we are seeing played out in a big way at the moment with the #metoo movement. Respect supports connection and quality connection is what gives life meaning!

You do need to take safety precautions though, as an increase in the number of online dating users around Valentine’s Day also sees an increase in the number of #romancescammers and #catfish who go online pretending to be someone they’re not, usually with the main aim of stealing your hard earned cash. Don’t let them!

Even a casual date on Valentine’s Day will be enhanced with a sense of being ‘special’ because it falls on 14th February. Take advantage of this! Everybody loves to feel special and a lot of people adore holiday and anniversary celebrations. Why not ask someone out so you can enjoy this special day together? What’s the harm in showing someone love and affection? Afterall, love is what makes the world go around.

For more advice about online dating, including how you can spot a romance scammer, where you should go on a first date, what to write in your profile, how to make a good first impression and much more, my book, Love At First Swipe, is available to buy on Amazon and through all other leading book stockists.

Could #DatingApps do more to “vet” their users? | #onlinedating #romancescam #catfish #identityverification #datingscam

On the whole, online dating is a fun and exciting place to be where you’re able to meet someone new without having to leave the comfort and safety of your bed or your sofa.

However, as our lives become increasingly social media-dependent, there is a darker side of online dating that is growing rapidly. Hackers and fraudsters are getting cleverer and using technology to deceive a growing number of people.

Can online dating apps and sites do more to protect their users from catfish and dating scammers?

What responsibility do dating apps have to vet people?

Some apps do very little. The potential consequences of not doing anything can be catastophic, as has been seen in some news stories of late. This leads to an onus on the dater (user) to undertake their own vetting process.

I’ve come across quite a few scammers in my time and have spoken with many others who have encountered scammers.

Here are four of the most common romance scams:

1) Those who tell you they’re single but they’re lying to you because they’re secretly married. This is the ultimate lie and it’s usually because that person wants a bunk-up! It’s very hard to see through this lie at first but you can do your own Google search of someone once you know their full name. “Tin Eye” is also a good search engine to use where you can upload a photo of someone and it will tell you where the image appears on the web.

2) Those with only one or two photos posted which aren’t really of them. They’ll usually look like a model. They build up a relationship with someone before then hitting them with a sob story. Their aim is to try and swindle money out of a user’s bank account by asking them to pay for travel costs or medical costs. They will never meet you, as they are using someone else’s photos and/or pretending to be someone they’re not. Never send money to anyone no matter what!

3) Those with two or three photos posted but they’re not smiling in their photos, they’re wearing sunglasses, or they only have photos of their face. What are they hiding? If you come across someone like this, you need to either avoid this person completely or find out more about them and ask to see more photos of them as well.

4) Those who put up photos of themselves from 10 years ago – or even older than this! They do this to try and secure a face-to-face date, but the truth will always come out in the end, so what’s the point in lying? It will only end up disappointment anyway!

In the humble opinion of many and through experiences we have all had, finding genuine people can be very difficult. It can be hard to figure out if someone is telling you the truth or not.

Identity Verification

Identity Verification is one way of putting an end to Catfishing. Social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram have long offered profile authenticity of public figures and other celebrities. A checkmark is added next to their name to confirm the legitimacy of the account. However, identity verification is a feature that is still missing on many other social media services today, including online dating and on most mobile dating apps and I feel that all dating sites and apps should begin using this feature.

A couple of dating apps have recently launched a feature that lets users verify their identities. Badoo and Bumble show the user a gesture and asks them to upload a photo replicating it. This way they can’t use something already on their phones or computers. While Badoo and Bumble users can still use the app without taking such photos, users can change their settings to see only “verified profiles”, which means potential catfish won’t be seen as often.

Other ways dating apps can vet people better

Here are some ways I feel that the vetting process on online dating apps could be made more vigorous and therefore increase safety:

1) Before users can upload a profile to the app, their profile should be vetted. The dating app sends them a code. They then have to take a picture of themselves with the code, plus the current date and time written on a piece of paper. This will verify they are a real person and are the same person that’s in the profile pics that they wish to upload.

2) The dating app could have the use of designated bars/restaurants in specific areas, where their users can meet their date. It would be a safe environment for both people to be able to relax in and really get to know each other on their first couple of dates. The staff in the designated meeting place could also be seen as an added layer of security and be trained to do certain things should things go wrong on the date and when someone’s safety is compromised.

3) The dating app could also incorporate GPS tracking so if the user feels vulnerable at any time, they can press an SOS button and the dating app can call them and make sure they are safe. The dating app could also call the police.

4) The dating app could have a customer services department. If you’ve been on a date and you feel like the person was mentally unstable or aggressive or just had something about them that didn’t feel right, you could call someone and express your concerns. The dating site could then keep a record of any complaints. If there are more than two complaints of the same nature about the same person, then they could be removed from the dating app.

To find out more about catfishing, how you can spot a dating scammer and what you should put on your own dating profile, you can purchase my book, Love At First Swipe, which is available at Amazon. My book is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating for people of every age, gender, orientation, and ability.

One of the early reviews of my book

Whatever you’re after – from feet or fetish to love and romance – Gareth Fosberry’s new book gets to the heart of what works and what doesn’t in the world of online dating.

Whether you’re looking for a new Mr Right or just a flirty fling, Cupid now has an app to help. Unfortunately, however, Cupid’s new digital arrows don’t always hit the target.

Follow the link to read the rest of the review.