6 First Date Conversation Tips:
Setting up your online dating profile, finding the right photos to upload which show you in a good light, writing a bio, these can all be difficult to do and take time to get right. It’s a bit like preparing for a job interview, except that you’re preparing to meet people to date and in most cases, to hopefully find the man or woman of your dreams.
However, often the hardest – and certainly most nerve-wracking part of dating – can be the first time you meet someone face-to-face. Chemistry is important of course, but getting the conversation right is just as important.
Nerves can often take over and can even overwhelm some people. There will always be nerves before the first time you meet someone new and you can become more shy than normal, or you could go the other way and become too much of a chatterbox.
People can appear robotic in questions they ask and in what they say about themselves.
There are many topics to avoid talking about on a first date, but equally, it’s important to ask questions, be a good listener and be yourself. Here are my top ten conversation tips on a first date:
1) Ask plenty of “Questions” – Your conversation should be flowing. It’s very important to ask your date questions and not just talk about yourself. If you do this, you will seem interested in them and keen to know more about them. If you don’t ask questions, you will come across as being self-absorbed, uninterested and rude.
2) Ask your date about their “Favourites” – This is a good way to show your date that you are interested in their life and it will also make the conversation fun as well. It could be anything from their favourite food or cocktail to their favourite film, sport, book or holiday destination. If you both have the same “favourite” and have certain things in common, it will prolong your conversation and could even lead to an idea for a second date.
3) Don’t talk about “Politics” or “Religion” – There is an old saying about topics that you should avoid discussing at a dinner table, but the same holds true for a first date. There are plenty of other things to be talking about on a first date and most people don’t want to go “too deep” in conversation on a first date, especially on topics in which they might have strong beliefs and opinions about. These topics may be important to you, but wait a while before talking about these topics in great detail.
4) Avoid the “Ex” conversation – Of course, everyone has a past and most people will have at least one “Ex”. Your date knows you have a past, but they usually don’t want to hear about them at this stage. Keep away from the “Ex” conversation until you know each other better. It will inevitably come up in conversation in time, but as a general rule, it’s best to stay away from the subject altogether on a first date if you can. It can make things feel awkward between you. If your date brings up the subject, it’s best to try and keep answers short (without appearing suspicious). If needed, reassure your date that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know them instead. If your date frequently talks about an “Ex”, it’s likely they’re on the rebound and haven’t got over a recent split.
5) Have some “Fun!” – It’s essential on your first date to try and avoid any negative, in-depth conversations, such as why you don’t enjoy your job, any bad dating experiences you’ve had, money problems, or any other issues you might have been having. Keep the conversation light-hearted and talk about fun experiences you’ve had. Try and sprinkle some humour into your conversation as well. Both women and men want someone who can make them laugh and someone who has a good sense of humour. You do have to be serious at times, but in the early stages of dating, don’t forget to have some fun!
6) Don’t “Lie!” – It is important not to lie to your date. It’s not a good way to start a relationship and it’s not nice to be lied to. When people want to be liked, they can lie about the truth to appear more authentic to their date. A date is actually a meeting where your aim is to find out more about the person you’re interested in, so in what way does a lie favour you in doing that? Just remember that the truth will always come out in the end and that there’s never a happy ending when someone lies.