It normally takes a while to form a new relationship after breaking up with someone that you loved or had strong feelings for, but a “rebound relationship” happens fairly quickly.
A rebound relationship usually occurs when you’ve broken up with someone and have entered into a new relationship with someone else almost immediately. It often occurs when you’re feeling isolated, hurt, lonely and desperate.
Everyone has a different defence mechanism and a different way of dealing with a tough break up. Some people shed tears and don’t want to meet anyone new for a long time afterwards. Some choose the alternative, which is an instant healing process, where they look to meet someone new almost immediately.
If you find yourself in such a situation, you may feel that you have to prove to yourself that someone out there wants you again and getting an ego-boost is often a short-term remedy to hiding the hurt you are really feeling.
Sometimes, people will use an online dating app or go to a bar looking for casual fun, as they hope that will take away the pain and hurt in which they are suffering.
Often, people use a new aquaintance to make them feel better about themselves, as their feelings are a mixture of anger and hurt, but if you genuinely want to get to know someone new, then it’s OK to start dating again.
In my opinion, if a relationship ended on good terms and was a mutual decision, entering into a new relationship can still be classed as a rebound relationship because one of you, or both of you, may not want to enter into anything serious again so soon after a break up which might have been on the cards for a while.
If you were the one who ended a relationship, the rebound is more likely to work. However, if you were the person who was hurt, this may affect your self-image, which will make you more emotionally unstable.
A rebound relationship can occur whether you’ve been with someone for 1 year or for 21 years. Obviously, the longer you’ve been with someone, the more history and memories you will have with your “ex”, so this often makes it harder to move on, as you simply can’t forget, especially if you loved someone – and may still do. If you had children with your “ex”, this can make it even harder to move on.
Statistics tell us that a rebound relationship lasts around 6-8 weeks on average. The main reason for a rebound relationship ending (90% of all rebound relationships end) is because they often occur after a romantic relationship has ended and there are still lingering feelings that one person may have for their ex-partner.
Here are Six common signs of a rebound relationship:
1) A new relationship begins soon after a break-up
2) You start seeing someone to make your “ex” jealous
3) You become involved with someone casually
4) You feel bitter in a new relationship
5) You talk about your “ex” regularly
6) You avoid any talk whatsoever about your “ex”
The dating world is full of people whose feelings are confused and there are many people who are on the rebound, sometimes not even realising they are. Unfortunately, being on the rebound can lead to people not telling the complete truth in order so they get what they want, but some of the tell-tale signs are that they talk about their “ex” a lot, that they want sex with you very quickly, or that they often ignore messages you send them and reply to you in their own time, without much feeling to their messages.
On the flip side, the person on the rebound may also be exploited as well, as they are more vulnerable and at a higher risk of being manipulated and exploited. Trust can also be a problem, as you may find it hard to trust someone again.
For a relationship to be a healthy and happy one, it’s usually best to wait a while until you start dating again, as your feelings will be all over the place after a hard break-up and it’s likely you won’t be in a good place straight after.
Having said that, a study was carried out by researchers at Queens College and the university of Illinois in 2014. Their research revealed that rebound relationships help the recently broken-hearted to move on and heal more quickly than ex-partners who deal with the break-up by not dating again for some time.