Dating can be hard and everyone has nerves on a first date, no matter who you are, but you should also feel excitement too. It’s important to make a good first impression.
You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Not only will you be judged on your appearance, but also on your attitude and personality as well. You should feel excitement at the prospect of meeting your date for the first time. At the same time, feeling nervous too is perfectly normal, as both of these feelings go hand-in-hand.
You need to get the first date basics right so here are “7 Deadly Sins of Online Dating” – things you should avoid on a date. If you manage to avoid these “7 Dating DONT’S”, you’ll have a greater chance of success:
1) DON’T be Late!:
The first deadly sin is to not be late! Punctuality is so important, especially on the first date. If you show up late, the first message you give out to your date is that you don’t care. Leave your home earlier than usual which will reduce your chances of a late arrival. If you’re late, it will tell your date that you’re unable to manage your time properly.
2) Be Confident but DON’T be Arrogant:
A man or woman with confidence can be a very attractive trait. Most people see confidence as an important factor when it comes to choosing a partner. Even if you’re a little shy, you can practice beforehand by talking to someone you know. Of course, the more dates you go on, the more experience you gain and the more confident you should naturally become. Plan what you’re going to talk about on your date, including subjects that you’re enthusiastic about, such as any hobbies you have or sports you participate in.
You should find out as much information as you can about your date before you meet them face to face, as it’s even better if you have mutual interests that you can talk about. Many people are shy and worry terribly about their appearance. It’s more attractive if your date sees that you’re comfortable in your own skin and are happy being you.
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance though. The last thing your date wants to hear is you bragging and talking about yourself all night! Try to keep the conversation flowing, but make sure you ask questions and also compliment your date as well.
3) DON’T talk about your ‘Exes’:
Most of us have a history of exes. We’ve all had personal issues and relationship problems that we’ve had to deal with in the past, but it’s best to never admit anything to a new acquanintence and potential lover on the first date. Your date knows you have a past, but they usually don’t want to hear about it. Keep away from the “ex” conversation until you know each other better, as this will inevitably come up in conversation in time. As a general rule, it’s best to stay away from the conversation altogether on a first date if you can.
Your date does not usually want to hear about your ex and it can make things feel awkward between you. If your date does bring up the subject, it’s best to try and keep answers short (without appearing suspicious). If needed, reassure your date that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know them instead. If your date talks a lot about an ex, it’s likely they’re on the rebound and haven’t got over a recent split. This is not a good sign! It’s usually best to avoid dating someone who has only recently come out of a long term relationship as their head may be all over the place and their feelings could still be very raw.
4) Turn OFF your Phone:
It’s annoying and irritating if a phone starts ringing in the middle of your date and it’s rude if you answer it in front of the person you are with. There may be a genuine reason to have your phone switched on, but at least make sure you have it on silent or on vibrate. If you need to check it, you should always do this when you go to the bar or go for a comfort break. If you check it in front of your date, it says to them that you’re not interested and that you’re not focusing entirely on your date. It would be very rude and disrespectful. They will appreciate it more if you take the time to engage with them fully.
5) Have GOOD Hygiene:
One absolute must is to practice good hygiene. Whilst looks aren’t everything, both men and women are often impressed by a person who appears to take pride in their appearance and by someone who looks after themselves. Make sure you are clean, that you wear your favourite clothes or outfit (but don’t look scruffy) and that your clothes are clean too. Splash on your favourite perfume or aftershave and brush your teeth. The above all might sound obvious, but believe me, not everyone takes care in the hygiene department or takes pride in how they look and smell. There is nothing more off-putting than being with someone with bad hygiene!
6) DON’T have Bad Body Language:
According to Elle magazine, research shows that 70 to 90 percent of our communication is nonverbal. Most gestures mean something, so showing your date that you’re comfortable spending time with them is important. Smiling often, maintaining good posture (dont slouch!), making good eye contact with your date and keeping your body relaxed are all important factors when you’re on a date.
7) Be Kind and DON’T be Rude!:
Be kind to your date and don’t treat them badly. Try not to swear, be polite and have good manners. If you’re a man, open the door for the lady and let her choose where she wants to sit. Whether you end up liking each other or not, you’ve both invested a lot of time and energy into preparing for your date, so don’t be rude and don’t disappear on them suddenly.