Pen Pals & the Friend Zone

The main purpose of online dating is exactly that, to date people and ultimately, to find your perfect match. You shouldn’t be on a dating site if you’re just looking for a pen pal.

If your match hasn’t asked you out on a date after an extended period of messaging, then they might not be interested in actually dating. They could be bored and looking for a way to kill some time. You could also make the first move and suggest meeting up in person, but if they find an excuse to not take you up on your offer, it’s not a good sign. I would usually give someone one chance but if they found another excuse, it’s time to move on!

Make sure you don’t fall into the dreaded ‘friend zone’. Keep all conversation light and complimentary and show a keen interest in that person by asking questions regularly.

Avoid getting overtly sexual, or you could end up with an unwarranted naked picture from a psychopath! You may think you know someone from chatting online for a while, but you could be in for a nasty surprise. If someone doesn’t reciprocate and ask you questions as well, they’re clearly not interested in you, but if they are and you’ve built up a nice connection, it’s time to meet up, otherwise you could be dumped in the ‘friend zone’.

Some users are looking for a quick fix, so conversations of a sexual nature are commonplace. Try to avoid “sexting” with someone that you’ve just started chatting with and whom you hardly know. They might not be interested in meeting you at all and you could end up being ghosted or falling into the friend zone.

You won’t have a romantic connection with everyone you date, so the doors to the friend zone are also open to the people who you get on really well with, just not romantically, for whatever reason. You might still want to keep in touch with each other and it’s possible that you become friends instead. I have made friends with some people I’ve dated in the past, where we get on really well, just not romantically.

You could also end up in the friend zone, if things fizzle out with someone that you’ve had relationship with. Entry to the friend zone has to be mutual of course. When a relationship ends acrimoniously, it’s usually the case that couples don’t want to hear from each other again, once they’ve separated.

To find out more and to read further tips and advice that I provide about online dating, you can purchase my book, Love At First Swipe, by clicking on the following link:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

Advertisements

Author: Gareth Fosberry

Author of "Love At First Swipe", Writer, Dating Blogger, Relocation Expert, Golfer, Football Coach, Music Lover

2 thoughts on “Pen Pals & the Friend Zone”

  1. I’ve experienced this with a girl I met on Tinder. Matched in the middle of spring, spoke and was going well and arranged a first date only for her to ghost when it was around the time to meetup. Spoke to her a few months later on Instagram because we had each other on there, was going well and kept it all light and casual, even sexted a bit but the replies started to become less frequent and when I sexted to try and initiate she fully ghosted. Funnily enough around the time she was heading back to Uni.

    It was obvious she wanted attention and it was more convenient for her to talk to me. I guess it was for me as well if I’m honest on here too because I just wanted to see who was around in “my dating pool”

    Johnny | Johnny’s Traventures
    http://www.johnnystraventures.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks very much for sharing John. Often people chat online when it’s convenient for them. That’s good AND bad! It’s hard sometimes to figure out what someone really wants.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.