Dating is becoming more complicated. With one in four of us now finding love online, a completely new language for modern dating has been created. It feels like a new dating term or trend is being created every week.
You may have heard of ‘ghosting’ where people don’t have the civility to end things verbally or by text. They ‘ghost’ the person they’ve been dating, which means they ignore them with no explanation. This is just one of the many new dating terms people use nowadays. Here are 5 new digital dating behaviours to be aware of:
Getting over a break-up can be really tough, regardless of whether it was a long-term or short-term relationship. Ghosting means that you don’t hear from that person again. They disappear forever like a ghost and they will cut off all communication completely. You can end up driving yourself crazy wondering what you did wrong and questioning why you did not hear from that person again.
Zombieing is another popular new dating term and it’s where you’ve been ghosted for a while and then from out of nowhere, your ghoster gets back in touch. The person you were dating disappears, before they come back from the “dead” months later with some lame excuse to justify their prolonged absence. They are most likely to get in contact with you again through a social media platform or through an out-of-the-blue text message. Usually, the zombieing happens just when you’ve gotten over the hurt of having them ghost you in the first place. Then, all of a sudden, they ‘subtly’ reappear causing more emotional upset.
This is when you stop seeing someone because they ghosted you and they have cut off all communication. They then reappear after some time and act like nothing happened. This is similar to Zombieing but Submarining is actually worse – after resurfacing, they’ll offer no explanation, acknowledgement or excuse whatsoever for their disappearance. Basically, it’s when someone you’ve been seeing or talking to vanishes without a trace (much like a submarine when it sinks to the depths of the ocean), then without warning, they “resurface” and slide back into your inbox like nothing ever happened. People who submarine you either want to hide the reasons for disappearing or they just want to gloss over it.
Stashing is the latest dishonest dating technique that you may have been a victim of. It occurs when the person you’re dating doesn’t introduce you to their friends or family and doesn’t post about you on social media. Basically, you’re their secret boyfriend or girlfriend, while they feel justified in “stashing” you in the corner, pretending nothing is going on to the outside world and keeping their options open. Stashers don’t want a loving relationship with you and will be chatting to and seeing other people.
Breadcrumbing is when you send out flirty but non-committal messages (“breadcrumbs”) to a person, but you’re not really interested in dating them. You send the messages in order to lure a sexual partner without expending too much effort, which equates to leading someone on. If you’ve been dating someone, breadcrumbing can also mean you don’t have the guts to break things off with them completely, as the breadcrumber doesn’t like confrontation.