A Fairytale Ending? How listing “reading books” on your dating profile can improve your love life

Who would have thought that reading a book could improve your love life? My new book, Love At First Swipe, is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating which will definitely help you find love, but there are actually books and authors that you can list on your online dating profile, which can attract more attention and make you more appealing to the opposite sex.

Reading is a favourite hobby of many and is one of the most common interests listed on dating profiles. Many of us read books for pleasure, to gain knowledge, or to relax and unwind when travelling on a plane or train, sitting by a pool, or just before we go to bed.

According to a recent study carried out by dating app, eHarmony, men who list “reading” on their online dating profile receive 19% more messages, while female readers receive 3% more. Avid book readers have also been found to be more intellectually curious than most and find it easier to form open and trusting relationships with other people.

What books do you need to read?
Classic novels, contemporary bestsellers and autobiographies often top best-selling book lists. The most read books listed by women on dating profiles are often fantasy, novels and erotica. These books include the “Harry Potter” series, “Pride and Prejudice”, and “Fifty Shades of Grey:. Men, on the other hand, tend to list action and adventure books the most, such as “Game of Thrones” and “Lord of the Rings”.

You’ll be pleased to know that both men and women are attracted to fans of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. Men who mention this book receive 36% more communication and women see a 31% increase. Female fans of the “Hunger Games” receive 44% more online communication, while men see the number of messages they receive increase by 21% when they namecheck Suzanne Collins’ series.

Unfortunately, not all books give you a boost in online dating messages. Men who are open about their love of “Harry Potter” on their profile are not looked at favourably as they receive 56% less communication overall. And, despite it being one of the world’s favourite books, women who own up to their love of the “Fifty Shades” series receive 16% less communication – clearly some men are intimidated by Christian Grey!

However, lying about your reading habits is not recommended. You will get found out eventually, especially if you know nothing about the book that you have listed on your profile as being read. The “Harry Potter” series tops the charts as the books that most people lie about having read, closely followed by “Fifty Shades of Grey”, “The Bible”, “War and Peace”, and “The Great Gatsby”.

It turns out that the real secret of success when it comes to books and finding love online, is Richard Branson! Surprisingly, if you mention the founder of Virgin and author of “Screw it, Let’s Do It and Like a Virgin: Secrets they don’t teach you at business school”, it virtually guarantees that your profile will get more attention. Men who mentioned Branson’s books receive 74% more communication than those who don’t, while women see a more modest increase of 19%.

Other authors that attract more attention for men include the author of “The Da Vinci Code”, Dan Brown, plus, the authors John Grisham, and Lee Child. Unfortunately, women didn’t see the same benefits in the study when listing Dan Brown among their favourite authors, as it led to a 3% reduction in communication, while Danielle Steele fans received a huge 56% less attention.

Statistics from recent eHarmony study:

Based on the % of messages that either went up or down when users listed specific books:

Men:

Books which had the biggest impact on online dating communications:

1) Screw It, Let’s Do It and Like a Virgin +74%
2) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo +36%

3) 1984 +21%
4) World War II +16%
5) The Da Vinci Code +5%
6) The Hobbit -15%
7) The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes -22%
8) Lord of the Rings series -24%
9) The Bible -37%
10) Harry Potter series -55%

Women:

Books which had the biggest impact on online dating communications:

1) The Hunger Games +44%
2) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo +31%

3) A Game of Thrones +30%
4) To Kill a Mockingbird 21%
5) Pride and Prejudice +18%
6) Harry Potter series +16%
7) Lord of the Rings series +10%
8) Twilight -6%
9) Fifty Shades of Grey -16%
10) The Bible -63%

Of course, these statistics are only from the study that one specific online dating app carried out, so depending on which app you are using, your attractiveness to other users, based on the books that you list on your profile, may be completely different. For example, if you’re using a Christian Dating app, listing down “The Bible” is likely to make you more appealing to their users. Or, if you’re using a Fetish Dating app, listing down “Fifty Shades of Grey” is likely to mean you will appeal to their users more.

To purchase my book, Love At First Swipe, please go to the following link:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

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Priyanka Chopra invests in online dating app Bumble as it prepares to launch in India

Online dating app, Bumble, is often hailed as the feminist alternative to Tinder’s “anything goes” feel. Just like Tinder, users have to swipe right to match with each other, but unlike Tinder, the first message on Bumble has to be sent by the woman.

What makes Bumble different from other dating apps is this challenge presented to women to make their move first. The user interface is pretty similar in that you upload pictures, put together a little introductory bio and swipe left or right on people’s photos. It’s very easy to use and some people prefer Bumble to Tinder, as users on Bumble appear to want something more serious.

Bumble is now looking to expand its reach into India. There are safety and security concerns over the use of online dating apps in India and there is currently a push by firms to make women feel safer using dating apps in India. As an added security feature, Bumble has now introduced photo identity verification, which should mean you don’t up speaking to a catfisher or a scammer!

Indian actress, Priyanka Chopra, has recently invested in the online dating app.
The “Quantico” actress said her investment was an effort to help change gender disparity in the tech industry, Economic Times reported.

She tweeted: “A new chapter for me! I am so excited to partner with @bumble and @holbertonschool as an investor. I’m honored to join two companies that strive to expand gender diversity in the tech space, and make a social impact for the greater good… let’s do this!!

This article on the BBC website tells you more about Priyanka Chopra’s role as an investor and as an advisor to Bumble:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-45741811

You can also read my review of Bumble, along with my review of six of the other main online dating apps, by purchasing my book, Love At First Swipe. Here is the Amazon link:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

Pen Pals & the Friend Zone

The main purpose of online dating is exactly that, to date people and ultimately, to find your perfect match. You shouldn’t be on a dating site if you’re just looking for a pen pal.

If your match hasn’t asked you out on a date after an extended period of messaging, then they might not be interested in actually dating. They could be bored and looking for a way to kill some time. You could also make the first move and suggest meeting up in person, but if they find an excuse to not take you up on your offer, it’s not a good sign. I would usually give someone one chance but if they found another excuse, it’s time to move on!

Make sure you don’t fall into the dreaded ‘friend zone’. Keep all conversation light and complimentary and show a keen interest in that person by asking questions regularly.

Avoid getting overtly sexual, or you could end up with an unwarranted naked picture from a psychopath! You may think you know someone from chatting online for a while, but you could be in for a nasty surprise. If someone doesn’t reciprocate and ask you questions as well, they’re clearly not interested in you, but if they are and you’ve built up a nice connection, it’s time to meet up, otherwise you could be dumped in the ‘friend zone’.

Some users are looking for a quick fix, so conversations of a sexual nature are commonplace. Try to avoid “sexting” with someone that you’ve just started chatting with and whom you hardly know. They might not be interested in meeting you at all and you could end up being ghosted or falling into the friend zone.

You won’t have a romantic connection with everyone you date, so the doors to the friend zone are also open to the people who you get on really well with, just not romantically, for whatever reason. You might still want to keep in touch with each other and it’s possible that you become friends instead. I have made friends with some people I’ve dated in the past, where we get on really well, just not romantically.

You could also end up in the friend zone, if things fizzle out with someone that you’ve had relationship with. Entry to the friend zone has to be mutual of course. When a relationship ends acrimoniously, it’s usually the case that couples don’t want to hear from each other again, once they’ve separated.

To find out more and to read further tips and advice that I provide about online dating, you can purchase my book, Love At First Swipe, by clicking on the following link:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

Love At First Swipe – Guide To Online Dating – Promo Video

My new book, Love At First Swipe, is a comprehensive guide to modern online dating and is aimed at people of all ages, genders, sexual orientations and abilities.

This promo video provides a brief summary of some of the material in my book.

Love At First Swipe is now available to buy from all leading book stockists and from Amazon at:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912615460/

Is the “swipe culture” on dating apps bad for our mental health?

Online Dating & Mental Health

Is the “swipe culture” on dating apps bad for our mental health?

In the fast-paced world we live in today, we face many daily pressures and online dating can be a welcome escape from normality. Dating apps have become a part of everyday life for many of us.

Dating apps have taken the world by storm, with one in four of us now finding love online, but has the trend of swiping right or left to like or reject potential matches, contributed to many people’s unhappiness and low self-esteem?

Many people seek a new relationship because they’ve been single for a while or because they’ve recently come out of a long term relationship. They turn to online dating apps to try and find love online, due to the ease of use and the huge choice that users have when searching for someone new. You can meet someone quickly and can meet someone who meets your specific requirements.

However, more choice is not always a good thing and it can cause confusion and be overwhelming. Online dating has led to folk having less patience and people are quick to move onto the “next best thing”.

Incessant swiping and continuous small-talk can soon fizzle out and can leave people feeling dejected. It can also lead to users developing anxiety, becoming more guarded and can even lead to users becoming more lonely, despite the huge choice of people on dating apps.

I’ve worked with singles who are online dating where their self-esteem has taken a hit. They wonder what is wrong with them, and they’ve developed a ‘guard’ because they’ve been hurt so many times” – Anita Chlipala, a licensed therapist and dating expert.

The swipe culture and the huge choice we have has led to dating becoming more “disposable” where its easy to move onto the next person without giving the first person you speak to a chance. One way to avoid this is to give each girl or guy that you date a fair chance and to also have only one dating app on your phone.

It can be difficult for some users to distinguish between those using online dating as a way of passing time, those using it as an ego-boost, those looking for fun and those who actually are looking for something serious.

Dating apps can lead to body confidence problems too, especially for younger people, because you are continually aware of your competition. It’s easy for many people to fall in love with someone’s photos. This can lead to huge disappointment when you meet someone face-to-face and they’re not exactly what you had in mind – and vice versa.

Trent Petrie, professor of psychology at the University of North Texas and co-author of the research, says: “With a focus on appearance and social comparisons, individuals can become overly sensitised to how they look and appear to others and ultimately begin to believe that they fall short of what is expected of them in terms of appearance and attractiveness.”

“We would expect them to report higher levels of distress, such as sadness and depression, and feel more pressures to be attractive and thin.”

It’s very easy to become addicted, burn yourself out and develop anxiety problems. The key is to go online in moderation, not to have more than one one dating app on your phone, not to build up your hopes too much, plus, to try and give people a fair chance. If you can do all of this, it can lead to you finding happiness.

To learn more about anxiety and to help you understand the condition better, here is a useful link:

https://www.priorygroup.com/landing-ppc/nationwide-anxiety?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIuP36p-Tp3QIVqZPtCh3XeAz_EAAYAiAAEgJYtPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Love at first swipe? How to stay safe and secure when dating online

Online Dating can be a fun and illuminating experience – if you know how to avoid its darker side that is. In my new article in Female First, I reveal my top tips for women to catch that dream date… and avoid the catfish:

https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/books/gareth-fosberry-exclusive-dating-tips-online-advice-relationships-1165200.html

Please also check out this news article and radio interview that I did, which you can find on Palamedes PR’s website:

http://www.palamedes.co.uk/radio-interview-for-online-dating-expert-gareth-fosberry/

How men can increase their chances of finding love online

Online dating expert @garethfosberry has penned an exclusive thought-leader article on how men can increase their chances of finding love online for @loadedonline magazine :

https://t.co/dNXhpnalR4

Check out @palamedespr’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/palamedespr/status/1045587756557193216?s=09